Funny Retirement Messages – Best Wishes, Prayers & Quotes

Sending funny retirement quotes and messages to the retired person could add some extra fun to their happy moment of retired life.

Try these funny messages and quotes to wish a happy retirement whom you like either you may send these messages with a card.

Enjoy reading these funny retirement wishes and messages to make your greetings funny and wish your desired one a happy retirement.

Funny Retirement Message

1. Congratulations on your retirement! If you get bored, you know you can call and hang out with us.

2. Retirement – the only real excuse you’ll ever have to spend your entire life’s savings. Have fun!

3. Best wishes in your retirement. Here’s to watching your grandkids instead of the bottom line.

4. Now that you’ve gone through birth, crawling, walking, school, and many years of work, you can finally relax!

5. There are all sorts of things that you will have to learn how to do off the clock now, like making coffee.

6. Can you believe that finally from now on all days on your calendar are marked as Sunday? Enjoy them and may you always have a smile on your face. Happy retirement.

7. Retirement is the only thing that will make you realize how you wasted all these years trying to be mature when you can get back to being a child at the end of it all. Have fun.

8. It is interesting to note that when people are giving you retirement gifts there is always a watch or a clock as if to tell you that your time is up. Have a time free retirement.

9. Every day of your retired life will feel like a happy Friday night. But it’s useless because being old will make you feel dull like Monday morning all the time. Happy retirement.

10. Congratulations on gaining two new best friends upon your retirement. Their names are Bed and Couch. You will be hanging out with them a lot.

11. From the bottom of our hearts, we’re going to miss you. Best wishes to your retirement! Feel free to call and visit when you get bored playing around.

12. No matter how many college degrees, skill development courses and professional accreditation you have received, there is one more qualification you will still receive after your retirement – Master of Doing Nothing. Congratulations!

Funny Retirement Messages

1. Can you believe that finally from now on all days on your calendar are marked as Sunday? Enjoy them and may you always have a smile on your face. Happy retirement.

2. Retirement is the only thing that will make you realize how you wasted all these years trying to be mature when you can get back to being a child at the end of it all. Have fun.

3. It is interesting to note that when people are giving you retirement gifts there is always a watch or a clock as if to tell you that your time is up. Have a time-free retirement.

4. If you truly want to know if you will be missed when you retire try telling people that the retirement has been postponed and you will be coming back to work. I bet you can hear a pin drop. Yap! Now you know. Have a happy retirement.

5. If we could all have the same attitude you’ve had these last days before retirement, we’d all be a lot less stressed at work. Nothing would get done around here either, but that’s not the point.

6. All these years you argued with your colleagues, juniors, managers and your boss at work. After retirement, you will argue with your grand-kids, children and wife at home. Life remains the same.

7. As I see it you have been practicing how to retire and now the real thing is here. You are so good at it that there should be no problem taking up your new role. Have a happy retirement.

8. You can be sure that your immediate junior only pretends that they will miss you when you retire. Do not be fooled by that sad face. This person is so busy counting the minutes until they can take over your office space that they wish you had even left earlier. Enjoy your retirement anyway.

9. You always cursed your body when you were ill which made you miss an important deadline at work. Retirement is when you will finally curse yourself for using an important deadline at work as an excuse for not taking care of your body all these years.

10. All your life you sacrificed your health so you could earn more money to retire happily. Now you’ll realize that you’ll be spending all the money to keep up your health. Congratulations.

11. Your computer screensaver is a scene from Green Acres – so you can daydream about that farm you always wanted. Make the best use of it, have a happy retirement.

12. Happy retirement and my advice are that you do not try to say that you are coming back because you will be surprised at people’s reactions.

No one will give back your office, nor your parking space. No one misses you that much.

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